just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
