if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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