He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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