she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
