Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
