Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
