Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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