Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize