Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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