that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
