roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize