And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
