this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
