Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
