bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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