I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
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