Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
