I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize