Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
