Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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