I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
