life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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