Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
