we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
