Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Sober January is a disaster.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
