hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Randomize
