meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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