It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
