So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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