now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
