too bad you live with your parents still
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize