cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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