just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
