Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
