i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize