dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Houston, we have a squirter
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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