My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
