And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
my shit smells like andre
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
