Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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