Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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