my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
