you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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