I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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