My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
