My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize