Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

my vagina has a 5:00 shadow

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(559): View more from California

you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you

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(250): View more from British Columbia

found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind

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(323): View more from California

No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.

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(949): View more from California

I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..

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(818): View more from California

I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I tired using vodka to remove my makeup

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(305): View more from Florida

Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!

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