no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
