You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
