so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
