How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
