i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
