been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize