bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
