I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize