So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Randomize
