We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Randomize
