i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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