Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
