Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
