she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
