At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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