it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
