my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
