A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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