After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
